*snort* I just finished peeing on something. Cant say what cause MaMa mite read this from work. *snort, sheesh*

This morn, she wake me up real early like usual and no matter how much i rolled under the covers. she find me. *snort* so much fer being a spiritual leader when your “MaMa” makes you get outta bed. She started to get real mad like when I refused to go downstairs, so i pretended to appease her. Once downstairs I went in the kitchen to eat sum cheese, but all that wa sin mah bowl was some dog food. *snort*

Then she came out me wit that leash. I calmly turned my head and i swear she pinned me and screamed like satan just to get that thing on me. I think shes possessed. fire came outta her nose. *snort* well not wanting to walk with satan I planted my feet and stood my ground. Afte a couple minutes of that she picked me up and carried me out te door. I walked as slow as possible toward the street to escape but the darn leash was too short. She just kept sayin sumthing about work. So i planted my feet and looked at her and said Work This. You take care of me lady, not the other way around.

More fire came outta her nose and she lugged me into the house. So rite after she leave, i peed. Don’t she know that i’m supposed to sleep late and she shoud lay there so I can curl up on her stomach or her shoulder until i darn well feel like getting outta bed *snort* Then she should feed me some cheese and walk me all the way to the park. Upon return, she should give me more cheese and face the fan in mah direction. And this laptop of mine, she can’t borrow it anymore, it takes up prescious lap space. *snort* i need ta put mah foot down. *grrrr* I need more attention and more taking care of--this home alone for 10 hours aint workin out fer me. remember i chose you MaMa, and I can choose someone else. *snort*

So i’s decide to live my life fer me, not fer her. I’s only be happy when i make mahself happy. So i peed on her--- i mean i peed in da house. I am after all only being te best pug I can be, and who cares if that means lazy. So upon sum reflection, I have put together these simple rules for the pug life:

Make yourself happy first, then worry about others...you can’t help them if you can’t help yourself
Still, never let your homies down, and don’t forget it
Do not worry what others say about you; be fat, lazy, and wicked if you want
Smelly cheese and cat poop are too good to worry about your breath
Pee where you want, after all, your a dog
Always live the pug life the best way you know how, even if your best changes every day
If life rubs you the wrong way, keep movin until it hits just the right spot.

okay, i’s gotta eat some cheese.